The Daily Kos Weighs on on the Bushie Twins
Jenna and Barbara's speech
by kos Wed Sep 1st, 2004 at 22:40:58
Damn, this thing reads worse than it sounds. I mean, if I'm a communications guy, I try to use the twins to appeal to women (which the GOP has lost completely) and young voters (even if none are watching the convention coverage). So how did they do?
JENNA BUSH: It's great to be here. We love Arnold. Isn't he awesome?
Thanks to him, if one of us ever decides to marry a Democrat, nobody can complain, except maybe our grandmother, Barbara. And if she doesn't like it, we would definitely hear about it.
We already know she doesn't like some of our clothes, our music, or most of the TV shows we watch.
Gammie, we love you dearly, but you're just not very hip.
She thinks "Sex and the City" is something married people do, but never talk about.
KOS: Hmmm, this is clearly targetted toward youngsters, since apparently young kids all think their grandmothers are crusty old bitches who just need to die, and barring that, should be told to stuff their years of wisdom down the toilet and shut their traps.
And they like "Sex and the City", which should make those Christian wackos really happy. But the twins are blond. And they talk about Sex in the City. So they may have scored some points with the twenty-something male crowd.
BUSH TWIN (BT) "We spent the last four years trying to stay out of the spotlight. Sometimes, we did a little better job than others. We kept trying to explain to my dad that when we are young and irresponsible, well, we're young and irresponsible."
KOS: Yeah, getting drunk and smoking pot is fun, and dad just doesn't get it! And it's nice to have a Secret Service detail to get us out of sticky situations. It's fun being irresponsible, which is easy to do since our parents didn't instill any values in us. And anyway, we're just following dad's example."
BARBARA BUSH: Jenna and I are really not very political, but we love our dad too much to stand back and watch from the sidelines. We realized that this would be his last campaign, and we wanted to be a part of it."It's easy to support our father when we don't actually pay attention to the damage he's causing. Besides, since we've graduated from college, we're looking around for something to do for the next few years.
KOS: Kind of like dad.Are they saying that their dad will lose, or that he will win? Either way, this is pretty, um, horrible. As for the twins, they'll be okay. Daddy's friends will hook them up. Just like their father, they'll never have to work a day in their lives.
JENNA: Our parents have always encouraged us to be independent and dream big. We've spent a lot of time at the White House, so when we showed up the first day, we thought we had it all figured out. But apparently my dad already has a chief of staff, named Andy.Ummm.... okaaay...
BARBARA: When your dad's a Republican and you go to Yale, you learn to stand up for yourself. I knew I wasn't quite ready to be president, but number two sounded pretty good.
Who is this man they call Dick Cheney?The president.
JENNA: I think I know a lot about campaigns. After all, my grandfather and my dad have both run for president, so I put myself in charge of strategy. Then I got an angry call from some guy named Karl.
KOS: Groan... Karl apparently didn't like the "Pub Crawl" the twins had set up.
BARBARA: We knew we had something to offer. I mean, we've traveled the world; we've studied abroad. But when we started coming home with foreign policy advise, dad made us call Condi.
KOS: And the twins were smarter.
JENNA: Not to be deterred, we thought surely there's a place for strong willed, opinionated women in communications. And next thing we know, Karen's back.
KOS: As an aside, how many "swing voters" out there know who "Karen" and "Andy" and Karl" really are? Heck, even Condi is probably unknown to a majority of Americans.
BARBARA: So we decided the best thing we could do here tonight would be to introduce somebody we know and love.
JENNA: You know all those times when you're growing up and your parents embarrass you? Well, this is payback time on live TV.They got that right.
BARBARA: Take this. I know it's hard to believe, but our parents' favorite term of endearment for each other is actually Bushy. [KOS: Ewwww....] And we had a hamster, too. Let's just say ours didn't make it.
KOS: Kerry saves hamsters. The Bushes kill theirs.
JENNA: But, contrary to what you might read in the papers, our parents are actually kind of cool. They do know the difference between mono and Bono. When we tell them we're going to see Outkast, they know it's a band and not a bunch of misfits. And if we really beg them, they'll even shake it like a Polaroid picture.
KOS: Ewww....
BARBARA: So, OK, maybe they have learned a little pop culture from us, but we've learned a lot more from them about what matters in life, about unconditional love, about focus and discipline.
KOS: Didn't they just say up-speech that they're young and irresponsible?
BARBARA: They taught us the importance of a good sense of humor, of being open-minded and treating everyone with respect. And we learned the true value of honesty and integrity.
JENNA: When you grow up as the daughters of George and Laura Bush, you develop a special appreciation for how blessed we are to live in this great country. We are so proud to be here tonight to introduce someone who read us bedtime stories, picked up car pool, made us our favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cheered for us when we scored a goal, even when it was for the wrong team.
BARBARA: Someone who told us we actually looked cute in braces, always welcomed our friends and was there waiting when we came home at curfew.
JENNA: Ladies and gentlemen, one of the two most loving, thoughtful people we know.
BARBARA: Your president and our dad, George W. Bush.
KOS: So, did someone actually vet this speech?
by kos Wed Sep 1st, 2004 at 22:40:58
Damn, this thing reads worse than it sounds. I mean, if I'm a communications guy, I try to use the twins to appeal to women (which the GOP has lost completely) and young voters (even if none are watching the convention coverage). So how did they do?
JENNA BUSH: It's great to be here. We love Arnold. Isn't he awesome?
Thanks to him, if one of us ever decides to marry a Democrat, nobody can complain, except maybe our grandmother, Barbara. And if she doesn't like it, we would definitely hear about it.
We already know she doesn't like some of our clothes, our music, or most of the TV shows we watch.
Gammie, we love you dearly, but you're just not very hip.
She thinks "Sex and the City" is something married people do, but never talk about.
KOS: Hmmm, this is clearly targetted toward youngsters, since apparently young kids all think their grandmothers are crusty old bitches who just need to die, and barring that, should be told to stuff their years of wisdom down the toilet and shut their traps.
And they like "Sex and the City", which should make those Christian wackos really happy. But the twins are blond. And they talk about Sex in the City. So they may have scored some points with the twenty-something male crowd.
BUSH TWIN (BT) "We spent the last four years trying to stay out of the spotlight. Sometimes, we did a little better job than others. We kept trying to explain to my dad that when we are young and irresponsible, well, we're young and irresponsible."
KOS: Yeah, getting drunk and smoking pot is fun, and dad just doesn't get it! And it's nice to have a Secret Service detail to get us out of sticky situations. It's fun being irresponsible, which is easy to do since our parents didn't instill any values in us. And anyway, we're just following dad's example."
BARBARA BUSH: Jenna and I are really not very political, but we love our dad too much to stand back and watch from the sidelines. We realized that this would be his last campaign, and we wanted to be a part of it."It's easy to support our father when we don't actually pay attention to the damage he's causing. Besides, since we've graduated from college, we're looking around for something to do for the next few years.
KOS: Kind of like dad.Are they saying that their dad will lose, or that he will win? Either way, this is pretty, um, horrible. As for the twins, they'll be okay. Daddy's friends will hook them up. Just like their father, they'll never have to work a day in their lives.
JENNA: Our parents have always encouraged us to be independent and dream big. We've spent a lot of time at the White House, so when we showed up the first day, we thought we had it all figured out. But apparently my dad already has a chief of staff, named Andy.Ummm.... okaaay...
BARBARA: When your dad's a Republican and you go to Yale, you learn to stand up for yourself. I knew I wasn't quite ready to be president, but number two sounded pretty good.
Who is this man they call Dick Cheney?The president.
JENNA: I think I know a lot about campaigns. After all, my grandfather and my dad have both run for president, so I put myself in charge of strategy. Then I got an angry call from some guy named Karl.
KOS: Groan... Karl apparently didn't like the "Pub Crawl" the twins had set up.
BARBARA: We knew we had something to offer. I mean, we've traveled the world; we've studied abroad. But when we started coming home with foreign policy advise, dad made us call Condi.
KOS: And the twins were smarter.
JENNA: Not to be deterred, we thought surely there's a place for strong willed, opinionated women in communications. And next thing we know, Karen's back.
KOS: As an aside, how many "swing voters" out there know who "Karen" and "Andy" and Karl" really are? Heck, even Condi is probably unknown to a majority of Americans.
BARBARA: So we decided the best thing we could do here tonight would be to introduce somebody we know and love.
JENNA: You know all those times when you're growing up and your parents embarrass you? Well, this is payback time on live TV.They got that right.
BARBARA: Take this. I know it's hard to believe, but our parents' favorite term of endearment for each other is actually Bushy. [KOS: Ewwww....] And we had a hamster, too. Let's just say ours didn't make it.
KOS: Kerry saves hamsters. The Bushes kill theirs.
JENNA: But, contrary to what you might read in the papers, our parents are actually kind of cool. They do know the difference between mono and Bono. When we tell them we're going to see Outkast, they know it's a band and not a bunch of misfits. And if we really beg them, they'll even shake it like a Polaroid picture.
KOS: Ewww....
BARBARA: So, OK, maybe they have learned a little pop culture from us, but we've learned a lot more from them about what matters in life, about unconditional love, about focus and discipline.
KOS: Didn't they just say up-speech that they're young and irresponsible?
BARBARA: They taught us the importance of a good sense of humor, of being open-minded and treating everyone with respect. And we learned the true value of honesty and integrity.
JENNA: When you grow up as the daughters of George and Laura Bush, you develop a special appreciation for how blessed we are to live in this great country. We are so proud to be here tonight to introduce someone who read us bedtime stories, picked up car pool, made us our favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cheered for us when we scored a goal, even when it was for the wrong team.
BARBARA: Someone who told us we actually looked cute in braces, always welcomed our friends and was there waiting when we came home at curfew.
JENNA: Ladies and gentlemen, one of the two most loving, thoughtful people we know.
BARBARA: Your president and our dad, George W. Bush.
KOS: So, did someone actually vet this speech?
posted by BLONDIE at 5:36 PM
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